Pomp and Circumstance and Handguns

Every now and then, something happens that's so weird I am 100% certain nothing will top it.  And each time, I'm like, ok, that was pretty f-ing strange.  And I don't mean strange like a troupe of giant paper mâché creatures going down the street on stilts, or a mom with bright green hair holding her baby above her head while she hoola-hoops, or a cross dresser on roller skates.  Having a shop on 4th Avenue, these are things I have come to expect and rather enjoy. 

What throws me off guard is when a man comes into the shop and starts feeling the crotches of all the underwear and sniffing them.  Thankfully, my friend Michelle was there to witness this and told him quite matter of factly, "Stop it.  You can't do that."  As if she were telling a child it's not good to eat food that's fallen on the floor because it's yucky. 

There was also the time a lady was standing in front of the shop naked from the waist down, except for the jacket she had tied around her waist to cover her butt.  Realizing her front was exposed, she moved the jacket around to cover herself, only to expose her butt.  She paced back and forth as she tried to figure out what to cover.  Front or back? This went on until the police arrived.

And that other time this big hairy guy came in wearing panty hose and a t-shirt.  Nude panty hose, no pants, no skirt, just sheer, nude pantyhose as pants.  Did I mention they were nude, and sheer?  In his defense, he did state he was in the market for a little skirt when he first entered the shop.

Days like these remind me of what a freaky world we live in.  Two weeks ago was another one of those days.  It started out as normal; girls buying dresses for graduation, Vegas and last minute trips to LA.  One of the girls going to LA was also going to go to Disneyland while she was there. 

When Sarah and I told her we hadn't been to the most magical place on earth she couldn't believe it.  She has literally been there more than 100 times (eat your heart out Alexis).  I asked her what she does when she's there, because seriously, aside from the commercials on TV I know nothing about it.  Are there rides? Shows? Fine dining? This girl knew EVERYTHING about it.  She could and would be an amazing Disneyland concierge.  I jokingly told her there was probably a TV show about people like her and she let me know that there was, but the people on that show are WAY worse. 

We started to close up shop around 6:45 and heard two pops, or rather, Bang-Bangs!  Followed by five or six more.  Sarah and I looked at each other in disbelief.  "There is no way those were gun shots." I thought, "They're too close." And then my thoughts went to why someone would be shooting a gun that many times on the street, and while it's still light out.  I know it's silly to think guns have a specific time and place that they're used - in your home for protection, hunting, or at a shooting range.   But this is the third time I've encountered them in broad daylight and not for protection. 

As I looked outside and saw a couple duck down behind a car and more people cautiously peering around the corners of buildings in the direction of the popping noises, the reality set in that yes, somebody just shot a gun a whole bunch of times.  I locked the door but still didn't quite believe it, and then I heard sirens.  Within minutes squad cars were flying down the street.

After about 15 minutes we figured it was safe to leave.  As I walked to the car I could hear a cop on a bullhorn less than a block away.  The sun was setting, palm trees swayed in the breeze and red and blue lights shined brightly while Pomp and Circumstance could be heard playing in the distance from the UofA stadium.  It was graduation weekend.  A time of celebration and new beginnings for everyone.  I went home, drank a glass of wine and went to bed thinking about what the next day would bring and what a strange and beautiful world we live in.

Follow up: No one was injured in the gunfire.  About a block or so away from the shop the following items were found: a car with bullet holes in it, a box of money in an alley and a house, inside of which copious amounts of weed were being grown. News link.

Data Entry & Short Shorts

 

After 13 years, I have decided to implement a point of sale system and track inventory, sales, etc.  I know this seems like something one would do from the get go, but, well, I didn't.  I'd tell you why but that's a story for another day.  Needless to say, I've spent the last two weeks entering all of the inventory in the entire shop. 

 

I had never really thought about what a data entry job entails, and now I know.  This has been one of the most tedious and mind numbing experiences ever.  Sitting in front of a computer- scratch that, sitting in a chair for an entire day is enough to make anyone wonky.  I can hardly sit through a movie more than an hour and a half long.  I cannot imagine doing this day after day after day.

 

The good news is, the new system is up and running and works like a gem, except for the part where it emails the receipts to the wrong people.  Seriously.  I called tech support and they said there's a "glitch" in the system and they're working on it.  Thank God I'm surrounded by cute clothes to get me through these trying times.

 

Must have items this week:

 

The backless maxi dress.  We've got them in solids, stripes, you name it.  And every other girl that walks in here wants one.  And why not?  It's sexy & comfy.  Whenever you can get sexy and comfy in one item it's a win-win for everyone.  

Must have item #2:
High waisted cut-offs, with or without studs & a tiny bit of cheek.  What can I say, it's Arizona, it's hot and nobody wants to wear anything.  Next week we'll talk about tank tops with low-cut arm holes and side boob. 

 

It's officially time to close up shop and meet friends at a pub down the street.  They've been there for an hour, so I've finished the day with a glass or two of champagne on my own.  This way we'll all be on the same page when I arrive.

 

Spicy Thai Coconut Soup

This week I learned how to make this lovely little dish.  My boyfriend has made it once or twice before and we both love it so it's been added to the recipe box.  James (the boyfriend) loves to cook.  I like to cook too, but he's much more adventureous than I.  He'll look up new recipes in magazines, or on line, and go out and buy any random needed ingrediants that aren't already in the kitchen.  I on the other hand lose interest if a recipe calls for something I've never cooked with before.  The thought of driving to the market for a spice I've never used to make something I've never eaten and might end up hating is just too much. 

 

This small mindedness is changing as I learn that some of my favorite dishes he's made required ingredients foreign to my cooking repetoire. This one comes from Bon Apetit magazine - again, something I would never pick up as I would be to busy flipping through Vogue while waiting in the check out line.  Don't let the unfamiliar ingredients scare you off.  This soup is awesome and you'll probably end up making it again, and again.

 

 

 

**Prepare all of your ingredients ahead of time, once you start putting everything together it goes pretty fast!

 



2 Tspn Canoloa oil

1 cup sliced mushrooms - we used white & cremini but you can substitute with your favorites

1/2 cup chopped red pepper

4 tspn fresh ginger, peeled & minced

4 garlic cloves, minced

1 (3 inch) stalk lemongrass, halved lengthwise (you can also get a lemongrass paste in a tube that works too)

2 tspns Sambal Oelek (ground fresh chili paste)

3 cups chicken broth 

1 & 1/4 cup coconut cream (we substituted cocnut milk)

4 Tbspn fish sauce

1 Tbspn sugar (we substituted with sugar in the raw)

2 cups shredded chicked breast (approx 8 oz)

1/2 cup diagonally sliced green onions

3 Tbspns fresh cilantro, chopped

2 Tbspns fresh lime juice

 

The directions say to cook this in a dutch oven, but I'm guessing a regular giant soup pot will do too.

 

First bake the chicken breast.  Once it's cooked through shred it.  To do so, I stick it in a large bowl and use two forks to pull it apart.  You could even do this a day or two before and save it for when you're ready to make the soup.

 

Coat the bottom of the pan with the canola oil.  Add the first five ingredients: Mushrooms, red pepper, ginger, garlic cloves and lemon grass. Cook for 3 minutes, stiring occassionally.

Next add chili paste.  Cook for 1 minute

Now add chicken broth, coconut cream (or milk), fish sauce and sugar. Bring to a simmer and cook for 10 minutes. 

**If you used lemon grass, remove from the broth (it's not pleasant to chew).  If you were clever and found the paste, move forward. 

Add chicken breast, cook for a minute or so until heated. 

Stir in  green onions, cilantro & lime juice.

 

Serves 4

The Handshake

If I have one more person offer me their limp hand in a hand shake I'm going to throw up.  What are you, the pope?  Why are you just resting your hand in mine?  I don't know who told you not to give a firm hand shake but it's weird.  I'm not saying you have to deliver some bone crushing shake but let me know there's a little life in there, a little confidence.  I'm not a dude and I don't think you're a delicate flower because you gently rested your hand in mine.  I think it's f-ing weird.

If you're applying for a job and you hand in your resume with a shake from your limp ass hand good luck. Don't believe me? Google it, there are countless articles and even research studies on the subject.  

While I'm on a rant, do a little research on the place your interested in working.  Do not walk in off the street, ask if a place is hiring, and then look around and say, "Whoa, this place really cool, I've never been in here before."

How can you walk into a business you know nothing about and ask for a job?  What if the business sold something you didn't believe in - like processed foods, religion or sex swings...seriously, take a look around before you're so eager to work there.  Maybe they have factories in China and you only believe in made in USA products.  Or maybe you speak Mandarin, believe in child labor and would be a valuable asset to your prospective employer.

I know, I know...times are tough and sometimes you have to take what you can get.  If that's the case, then you better really know your facts.  Chances are you've got plenty of competition and the boss is going to be more taken by the person who shows genuine interest in the company and has a firm hand shake.

And lastly, look your prospective employer in the eye.  If someone doesn't look me in the eye I spend the entire time wondering why they're not looking me in the eye and remember nothing they've said.  Are they hiding something?  Are they shy? Are they insecure? Are they looking at something else? Do they not really want to be here?

If the above rant seems like common sense to you, congratulations, you're on the road to success.  If you find yourself identifying with any of the above characteristics and hope to be gainfully employed change your habits sister.

Want to know more about handshakes?  I googled it for you, here ya go:

Science reveals the power of a handshake.

Do not skip the handshake

Top 10 bad handshakes

This one time I cried a little bit.

I don't cry often and I'm pretty level headed, so when I got a little teary eyed at a wedding last weekend I thought I should go to the doctor to get my tear ducts, or my brain checked. My boyfriend suggested that perhaps it was because it was the first time in a while that I hadn't been IN a wedding and I was able to just watch it.  Or, possibly, the glass of wine I downed 20 minutes prior had gotten the best of me.  OR, maybe, it was just really sweet and sometimes, when two people are in love and they get married and they bare their souls to the whole world when they say their vows it's kind of touching and it makes your eyes water a little bit.  Congratulations Liz & Neil, may you live happily ever after.

 

(Cake from the wedding of Lizzie & Neil)

Yummy Tofu Salad

Happy Friday!  I had to post this recipe because I am OBSESSED with this salad.  I eat it once or twice a week.  I am not a vegetarian, but overall I eat pretty healthy and try to incorporate as many good things into my diet as possible.  Over time, the more healthy things you incorporate into your diet, the less appealing the bad things become and pretty soon the majority of the things you put in your body are good for you. Bon Appetit!

 

 

 

Dressing:

1 tbspn white vinegar

1 tbspn soy sauce

1 tbspn fresh lemon juice

2 tbspn mayo

1 Tspn curry powder

1/4 tspn red chilli flakes (I always add more to make it spicier)

Mix above ingredients together in a bowl, with a wisk, and chill.

 

The good stuff:

1 package of Firm or Extra Firm tofu (whatever your preference)

**Not into tofu? Try chicken!

1 large carrot

1 red bell pepper

1 bunch of green onions

4 dates

1 clove garlic

1 & 1/2 cups of peanuts (unsalted)

 

Cut tofu into cubes and bake on a cookie sheet in oven, or on a tray in toaster oven.  Set at 300 and bake for 10-15 min then flip with spatula and bake for another 10-15 min.  Everyone's oven is different.  Keep an eye on it the first time you do it so you don't overcook it.  You're really just trying to get a little of the moisture out of the tofu.

 

Grate the carrot

Chop the bell pepper into smaller pieces (see photo above)

Use about 1/2 the bunch of the green onions and chop them

Cut dates in half, pull out seeds, and dice

Dice garlic

Mix it all together (don't forget to add the peanuts and the tofu)

 

Add the dressing & toss.  Chill for 20 minutes (although I can never wait and usually eat it right away)

 

Have a happy, healthy weekend. xo

 

 

Horse Weaves & Body Bling

I went to a horse show last weekend at WestWorld of Scottsdale.  One of my girlfriends was showing a couple of her horses in a derby.  A western derby. A former English saddle rider, she converted to Western after an unexpected move to Boulder Utah for a boy (and now husband).

I should preface this with the fact that this friend was a club going, high fashion party girl before the move. She could shop with the best of them.  She still can, it's just changed a little. 

This move to the middle of nowhere actually landed her a dream job on a ranch; breeding, training, and now showing horses around the country.  And, as she once embraced couture she now embraces western wear.  I have to admit, the first time I saw a picture of her in a cowboy hat and a button down shirt tucked into what I could only guess were Wranglers, I died.  Jaw dropped, eyebrows raised, wtf died.  It's crazy seeing one of your friends go from Marc Jacobs peep toes to chaps and cowboy boots. And the cowboy hat - not one of those little cute ones from Urban Outfitters, a Gods' honest cowboy hat.   

The point is, I went to the show and there were some really cute clothes.  I'm not saying I'm going to start wearing ranch wear to work, but once I saw her in the barn warming up her horse before the show, riding with all the cowboys, the outfits made sense. And, I was really proud of her. 

My 5'2" friend drove a giant truck and pulled 2 horses in a trailer 10 hours to Scottsdale and unloaded them and all of their accessories.  There are tons of accessories (for her and the horses).  And then she does all the other horse stuff of which I know nothing about, but seems exhausting - riding, grooming, cleaning the stall and Lord knows what else.

I digress.  Back to wardrobe - I'm obsessed with this cute little pair of Justin ankle boots she was wearing. 

These weren't boots she rode in, but cute boots she put on to hang out in after she competed.  She purchased them in a feed store in Utah (a couple towns over).  I've requested she send me a pair and I'll repay her with something equally as sparse in her area, Cosabella.  I won't be wearing the spurs as they're sold separately...and it would be a little weird here in Tucson.  Well, maybe not that weird.  I mean, the schools here do close for Rodeo Week.

She also wore a pair of custom made, fringed chaps.  ADORABLE.  Who knew chaps could be so cute (and freaking expensive!)  They make your butt look really good.  If you ever have the opportunity to wear them, do it.  And this probably goes without saying, but make sure they have fringe.

As for the show...each rider came out for a couple of minutes, all doing the same pattern of maneuvers on their horses.  After watching 4 or 5 horses I became an expert judge and spent the rest of the show critiquing (and drinking wine) with my friend and her mom; which rider was showing off, who had the best hat and whose horse could spin around in the tightest circle.

One horse was exiting the ring and I noticed some abnormally long hair hanging from its tail, dragging on the ground.  "Does that horse have a weave?" I asked her mom. She looked at me quizzically. "Does it have fake hair?  And is that fake hair falling out?"  The answer was yes.  Horses totally get weaves!  And, just like drunk girls at a party, they can lose part of their weaves.  

Of course my next question was as to the authenticity of their own horses' hair, but I didn't want to be rude.  I'm not very well versed in horse weave etiquette, but if it's anything like people weaves I was guessing it's best to keep your thoughts to yourself and discuss it with your friends later and see what they think.  Luckily I didn't have to go there. After a moment or two of silence she added, "All of our horses have their own hair." 

After seeing enough horse weaves last weekend I think I can spot the real from the fake.  My friend's horse, pictured below is weave free.

 

 

We wrapped up the weekend with brunch at Barrio Queen in Scottsdale.  Yum!!!  I know I should have taken pictures of the amazing food, but I was halfway through it by the time I thought of it.  Not to worry, I did take a picture of this little gem of a sign in front of where I parked: 

 

 

 Vagazzling.  Ok, I know this has been happening for a while. I guess I didn't really think anyone was doing it.  But then, I live in Tucson.  Is this happening everywhere else but here?  Or is this just another example of Scottsdale out-blinging the rest of us.  It appears the above business specializes in body bling. But did they really have to list Vajazzling on the window?  Doesn't "Full Body Waxing" and "Tattoo Crystal Bling Art" kind of cover that?  

 

Whatever the case may be, Scottsdale never disappoints.  Where else can you have a weekend of fine dining, luxury hotels, a western derby and body bling?